Who has shaped you into who you are today? Was it one woman or many?

Happy Women’s History Month!

Over the next four weeks, I’ll be sharing reflections on what this month represents and, more importantly, how it can serve as a loving reminder to share our own stories.

After all, history is simply a collection of stories.

So why not ours? 💛

Women’s History Month has been a national celebration since 1981 to recognize the contributions women have made throughout American history, across families, communities, and in every field. It’s our time to honor those who came before us and the impact they’ve had on shaping the world we live in today.

But history isn’t only written in textbooks.

For us, it often lives in the stories we cherish about the women who raised us, guided us, challenged us, and believed in us. Our stories are of courage, sacrifice, and often, thankless impact.

Based on the conversations we’ve had on our show, many of us have been greatly shaped by our mothers, grandmothers, aunties, sisters, girlfriends, and generally, a collection of women.

Yet many of those stories were never written down. For many of us, storytelling happens through conversations shared at dinner tables, family gatherings, and in learning how to connect the dots between generations.

We embody each other's stories, but rarely document them.

Until now…

TFAW Letters is a space to record personal stories that have shaped us, not the famous stories found in history books, but the intimate ones that influence our lives both visibly and invisibly.

Sometimes the most powerful stories are the ones that are finally shared out loud.

So this week, in celebration of Women’s History Month, I’m inviting you to reflect on this question:

Who helped shape the path you’re on today?

If you’d like, you can start your reflection with a simple line:

“If I could say one thing to (the woman, or women, I want to thank), it’s this...”

Submit A Letter Today

Already Subscribed? Check out the footer of our previous emails to learn how to submit a letter today. You may include your name or remain completely anonymous.

Women’s history isn’t only something we study. It’s something we continue to write together, one letter at a time. 📝

FAQs: Submitting A Letter to TFAWLETTERS.COM

Note: Audio version is available for First Readers. Enjoy the edited transcript!

Jen Amos: Hello there, First Readers. I am really excited to candidly answer some frequently asked questions that I have received regarding submitting a letter, in hopes that this will make people feel safer and more comfortable, and free to submit a letter how they please.

So, the first question is…

Who can submit a letter?

And the answer is: anyone.

When you visit our mailbox, there’s a link to submit a letter that’s only available to our subscribers. So if you’re not subscribed (although anyone listening to this will already be subscribed), all you have to do is just subscribe for free, and in the footer of every newsletter for your subscription level, there’s a button where you can visit our mailbox and submit a letter.

Now, when you submit a letter, you’re gonna be taken to a Google form, and you can fill it out anonymously. If you want me to contact you, then you can add your email. But otherwise, I have no idea who submits letters.

My hope is that anyone who wants to submit a letter does so in a way that frees them. Maybe something they’ve been holding in for a long time, something that they were afraid to say out loud, or something that they don’t know how to say in a way that they won’t regret later.

The benefit of submitting these letters is that you can submit them as is, because the next common question I often get is…

What happens when I submit a letter?

I work with an amazing team that takes inspiration from your submission, similar submissions, and conversations to create the first draft. Now, of course, depending on the letter, depending on how descriptive it is... just depending, most of the letters so far have rarely been that someone submits something and we’re like, “That’s perfect, let’s read that on the show.”

At the end of the day, this is my creative interpretation of these letter submissions and similar conversations. So we take inspiration from your letter, but we don’t read it verbatim on the show. We put a lot of love and care into trying to capture the spirit of what you’re trying to say in the way that we understand it. ‘Cause we’ll never entirely know, especially if you’re submitting anonymously, we’ll never entirely know exactly what you’re trying to say. All we can do is take inspiration from your submission, interpret it in a way we can relate to, and put it in a letter.

Even then, it gets put into a first draft. So the first draft can pull inspiration from your submission, other people’s submissions, and conversations our team has had that we can relate to, and pour it into this draft.

So already, I want you to hear that this is not me just taking your letter and reading it verbatim on the show. In celebration of being Filipino and the spirit of kapwa, which is, “I am because we are,” having that collective spirit... it takes a village to write these letters.

So hopefully you find some comfort in knowing that. It really just means that you can say what you really wanna say. We wanna listen, and we wanna capture the heart of what we feel like you’re saying and channel it into a first draft.

Now I say first draft because ultimately I have to read it on the show. What is written down is not always exactly what can be read on the show. It’s one thing to read something, and it’s another thing to speak it. Reading and speaking are different, and it’s highly dependent on my own style of speaking.

So the first draft goes through a couple of iterations as I practice reading it out loud. Now, if you wanna hear the first draft, I do a cold read for First Readers. First readers (like you, who are listening to this), when I am reading it out loud fresh, I am pulling inspiration from that. Or I am switching certain words around that I feel comfortable with saying because I have to make sure that I’m speaking as authentically as I can. This is not just about reading your letter; it’s about sharing a part of myself in your letter, too.

Overall, it takes a village to write these letters, let alone speak them out loud. There are certain things I may not be comfortable saying, and there may be other ways I would prefer to say them.

So just as a recap, anyone can submit a letter. You don’t have to really answer all the questions. The questions are there in the Google form to get your creative juices flowing. But ultimately, you can share as much as you wanna share. Our team takes inspiration from that letter; we may categorize it with similar submissions and have a dialogue about it, along with similar submissions. And together, we work on writing a first draft, and then I work on the final draft that gets read on the podcast.

When I say that I work on the final draft (and this is part of the cold read for first readers), I literally read it out loud and allow my natural voice to rephrase some things, change others, or keep things as they are in real time. It just highly depends on how it flows.

Now, the next question is:

When does the letter get released?

I’ll tell you, there are some letters that took months to put together. Not because it’s overly complicated, but because, like cooking, you just gotta let some things stew for a while.

So that’s why, in the off-season, in the pen pal edition, I have nearly a handful of first drafts that have been written. But it’s important to give the drafts some time to stew, to sit, and let us process before we revisit them and say, “okay it’s time to practice reading these out loud.”

So also dependent on whether the letter is relevant for a given season. Like upcoming, we have Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, which we’ll probably curate the letters that talk a lot about heritage.

In the summer series, like last year, it’ll probably just be a variety of letters. And then in October, we have Filipino American History Month, so that’ll likely be history-centric. And then we have the holiday series, which will ideally revolve more around family, friends, or chosen family. But again, it depends heavily on whether the letter is ready.

The key takeaway I want you to get is that I hope that you treat submitting a letter like a wishing well. Like leaving a lock on a special fence and leaving that lock like a wish, or you throw a coin in the water, treat it like a wishing well. Treat it like, “Here’s a secret of mine that I just wanna release and just put it out in the world.” The act of just putting it out there, I have personally found to be a therapeutic experience.

And this is what my letter submission people who talk to me say, “Wow, it’s so freeing. Even though the person I want to hear this may never hear this, I’m glad that I was able to get it out there. I’m content because I found the words to articulate what I really wanted to say.”

Because sometimes the one thing you’re really trying to say to someone is the one thing you are trying to identify for yourself. It could just be the one thing of what do I really need? From that person? For myself?

And sometimes just getting it out there helps you uncover what it is you really want out of all of this.

So, what is the one thing you’re really trying to say?

Okay, last question:

What if I don’t like the final letter?

What I would say is: if you don’t like the final letter, I’d like you to recall the last time someone said something about you that you didn’t like to hear. Someone told you an honest truth about yourself that you just completely deny, or you don’t believe is true. And I’d like you to take that same feeling and see the final letter that way.

Again, keep in mind that most of these letters embody the spirit of our shared experiences on a given topic or issue. And if you don’t like it, consider understanding why. Take it as an opportunity to reflect, and maybe what you put out there... maybe what you submitted wasn’t clear enough. Maybe what you said wasn’t really what you were trying to say.

Sometimes we can say things to certain people, and it just goes over their head, right? I’m sure you’ve given people plenty of advice, and they just don’t listen to you. The same thing could be said about, “Hey, let me try to express to you how I really feel.”

Sometimes, for example, people will express anger when really they’re scared. And so hopefully the letter gives you that friction to be like, “That’s not what I meant to say.”

If you feel that way, if you have that kind of reaction, take that as a moment of reflection and ask yourself, “Okay, what did I really mean to say?” And really observe, “Okay, what I really meant to say is this... But apparently, the letter came out this way. I said one thing, but you interpreted it another way. Now, next time, how can I articulate this in a way that you will understand what I’m trying to say? ‘Cause apparently what I said didn’t come across the way I needed to be understood.” So people won’t always understand what we mean to say.

In any romantic relationship, I’m sure we can all relate to the fact that our significant others won’t always understand what we’re trying to say. And I want you to understand that, if the final letter didn’t represent you, maybe it’s not what you wanted to hear, but what you needed to hear.

Anyway, I hope that helps, and last but not least:

Can I send an audio message?

And the answer is: absolutely! I personally like to use Otter, otter.ai. I do have a referral link where you can sign up for a one-month trial — just click HERE.

Really, all you need is a month, if not less, to just submit one or a few audio messages to me. Otter.ai automatically transcribes what you’re saying. So it makes it easier for me to accept that transcript as your letter submission. Once you record, email me so I can give you the next steps for submitting it!

And there you have it! Those are the frequently asked questions I get when submitting a letter.

I hope that this eases your fears and reassures you that this is really a wishing well. This is an opportunity to release something, like having a balloon, or a floating lantern (Disney’s Tangled, anyone???), and release it to the sky, kind of thing. And I hope this reassures you that we’ll go to great lengths to represent you while respecting your privacy.

Already a free subscriber?

Submit a letter (check the footer of previous emails), and I can’t wait to read yours in the upcoming season!

Bye for now.

💛 Jen

Hey, you’re free on Friday, March 27th, right?

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Note: Video, audio, and transcript are available to First Readers only.

Our join us in the Family Potluck Group Chat to see a photo preview (available to TFAW PenPals)! 📸

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By the way, do you have any plans for March 27th???

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Whether you’re an avid goal setter or have no idea what a vision board is, we’re gathering to support each other in visualizing everything you want to bring to life in 2026.

FREE and open to the community!

Join us on Friday, March 27th! Tentative Time: 1 PM (PT) / 4 PM (ET)

RSVP Now

In the meantime…

Jen shares her 2026 vision board in our Family Potluck Group chat!

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Lastly, First Readers can enjoy our last recorded Vision Board Check-In from one year ago! Happy watching! 📺

Replay Recap:

• How would you describe this season of your life in just one word or phrase?

• What if a vision board didn’t lock you into anything, but morphed to support your personal or professional growth?

• What if the thing you thought you wanted is already happening… just not in the way you expected?

To get an idea of how we run our Vision Board Workshops, here’s a summary of our last recorded session from the first quarter of 2025!

Before getting into vision boards, we checked in with each other by sharing how the first quarter of the year had felt, using just a word or short phrase. Then, we acknowledged where everyone was in their vision boards, from detailed boards to bullet-point lists to people who had never created one before.

In short, there is no “right” way to make a vision board.

Whether some of us were starting or already had vision boards, we began reflecting on accomplishments, challenges, insights gained, and what may have held us back over the last 3 to 12 months. We rated different areas of life, such as family, community, relationships, career, finances, health, spirituality, fun, and personal development.

We also reflected on the following:

• What do I want to leave behind as I enter the new year?

• Who am I doing this for?

• What would count as evidence that I showed up in a meaningful way this next year?

We discussed different vision board formats: physical boards, digital boards, lists, mind maps, and evolving drafts. One consistent reminder was that:

A vision board is not permanent. Images can be replaced. Goals can change. Wanting something at one point doesn’t mean you’re obligated to want it forever.

Common themes emerged in our discussion:

• Letting goals be flexible instead of fixed

• Finding ways to make growth feel lighter, playful, and less intimidating

• Wanting less time on social media and more intentional connections

• Using creativity, movement, learning, and community as motivation and accountability

• Recognizing that progress doesn’t always look dramatic

The workshop closed with some of us excited to share our vision boards.

Overall, we concluded that:

Vision boarding is less about perfect steps and outcomes and more about noticing patterns, honoring where you are, and giving yourself permission to adjust as you go!

Note: Video Replay is available for First Readers.

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This second part of the conversation with Jen and Monica Macansantos, Author of Returning to My Father’s Kitchen: Essays, continues to discuss the topic of loss, not just the loss of a father, but the loss of an ally, a sense of home, and the version of life that once felt stable.

First Readers can listen to Monica share how meaningful it was to hear from a former student who had also lost her father and found comfort in reading her book. It affirmed that the work reached someone who needed it most, someone who had also lost their number one ally.

Monica reflects on her relationship with her mother and how writing the book helped preserve her father’s memory at a time when it felt as though others were moving on too quickly. These experiences reinforced why it felt necessary to write, remember, and insist on her father’s significance.

They discuss grief itself, especially the idea that healing doesn’t always mean becoming whole again in the way people expect. Monica explains that she doesn’t believe loss is something people fully “get over,” and she shares what she thinks instead.

The holidays can intensify grief, nostalgia, and complicated family dynamics for some. For this final letter, Jen and Monica hope that this speaks to anyone navigating loss during a season that emphasizes togetherness, whether that loss comes from death, separation, or the loss of a relationship they once expected to last.

Listeners will hear the final letter inspired by Jen and Monica’s conversation on Christmas Eve!

Our FINAL Family Potluck of the year is TODAY! Hope to see you there! 😋

RSVP Now

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For the first time in a year, Jen conducts a very casual interview with Monica Macansantos, Author of Returning to My Father’s Kitchen: Essays.

First Readers will hear Jen and Monica brainstorm and workshop a letter together. For privacy reasons, this recording features selected snippets of their longer conversation about Monica, who was writing a book of essays when her father passed away.

Some of the essays were written while he was still alive. He even had the chance to read them. Most of the book, though, was written after his death, as Monica worked through what it meant to lose him and to keep writing without him as her ally and biggest champion.

They talk about how grief shows up in Filipino families, how quickly loss can be followed by expectations to “move on,” and what it feels like when emotions are prayed away instead of talked through. Monica shares how making her grief public became a way to claim her voice and individuality, rather than conform to what was expected of her as a ‘dutiful daughter.’

The conversation also touches on identity and belonging—on not fitting perfectly into any one community, and on choosing to speak from an individual perspective rather than representing an entire culture. They talk about why specificity matters, why first-person stories can feel more empowering, and how writing can create a safer space for others to recognize their own experiences.

This is part one of a two-part interview. Stay tuned!

Join us for our FINAL Family Potluck on December 22nd!

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RSVP for our Upcoming Family Potluck — NOV 21st! Click HERE.

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If you haven’t been as active as you would’ve liked, it’s not too late to join the FAHM Challenge!

Searching for resources on Filipino American history? Let’s search together! 💌

For October, upgrade your subscription to TFAW PenPals — for FREE — to participate in our 31-Day Challenge to collect, share, and discuss Filipino American History resources with our online community.

Already a Free Subscriber?

Scroll down to the bottom of our latest email and select “Get Free Upgrade Now.”

Note to first-time subscribers

If you don’t receive a welcome email, please check your SPAM folder and save tfawletters@substack.com as a trusted contact.

Already a TFAW PenPal?

Join the Challenge now by clicking HERE.

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If you’re searching for resources on Filipino American history, then you are invited to join our FAHM Challenge! 💌

For October, upgrade your subscription to TFAW PenPals — for FREE — to participate in our 31-Day Challenge to collect, share, and discuss Filipino American History resources with our online community.

Already a Free Subscriber?

Scroll down to the bottom of our latest email and select “Get Free Upgrade Now.”

Note to first-time subscribers

If you don’t receive a welcome email, please check your SPAM folder and save tfawletters@substack.com as a trusted contact.

Already a TFAW PenPal?

Join the Challenge now by clicking HERE.

Read more

If you’re searching for resources on Filipino American history, then you are invited to join our FAHM Challenge! 💌

For October, upgrade your subscription to TFAW PenPals to participate in our 31-Day Challenge to collect, share, and discuss Filipino American History resources with our online community.

Be on the lookout for the NEXT EMAIL 💌 to upgrade for free!

I Can’t Wait!

Questions? Email Jen — jen@tfawproject.com

Already a TFAW PenPal?

Join the challenge now.

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Below is the working title and show notes for upcoming Episode 176:

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In the meantime…

Submit A Letter

Is there one thing you are ready to say? I hope to read your letter in the upcoming season. 🤗🎙️

💛 Jen

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