Who’s that one person where you think: if only I were them, I could finally be who I’m meant to be?
In this letter, Mari grows up in the Philippines as “the white girl,” the only fair-skinned mestiza in her Filipino family. When her dad moves them to America, she’s excited to finally belong. But she finds herself sitting in an ESL class, staring into a mirror she doesn’t recognize herself in, and taking part in a years-long project of blending in.
Then, in college, a Filipino woman shows up in her social media feed — proud, loud, and unapologetically Pinay. And Mari cannot stand her. But every time this woman appears in her feed, something in her ignites. So she does what any reasonable person does: she goes deeper into her feed.
If you have ever followed someone online and felt a rage you couldn’t explain, this letter was written for you.
Letter 188 is part of The Filipino American Woman Project’s letters series, inspired by real conversations. This is our AAPI Heritage Month edition.
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